For some reason, thoughts of my mom rushed through my head this morning. (She died in 1997 after struggling with cancer for 6 1/2 years.) The lyrics to Carolyn Arends’ song, “Love You Out Loud”, helped to trigger those thoughts:
If I had only known that you were leaving here so soon
I would not have been so flippant when I offered you the moon
I’d have pulled my chair up closer to the railing of your bed
And chosen much more carefully the words I said
I would ask you for your stories
And I would tell you mine
I would give you much more credit
I would take more of your time
There’s so much I left unspoken
If you were here right now
I would love you out loud
If I had said the words “I love you” every time they crossed my mind
Then you would have heard me tell you at least a thousand times
I know you knew it anyway, I guess you understood
But I would like to go back if I only could
I would touch you much more often
I would laugh at all your jokes
I would worry through your worries
I would dream through all your hopes
I would pray with you to heaven
Are you watching from there now?
Do you know what I would give for the chance somehow?
No, my mom wasn’t perfect. She knew that. We knew that. But I do miss her, especially today. I love you, Mom!
Your turn to share: What is your relationship like with your mom?
July 27, 2007 at 9:26 pm
And I miss you!!!
July 27, 2007 at 9:30 pm
I have a lot of those days where mom crosses my mind constantly! I especailly miss her as I watch my two little ones run around. I wish she was here so I could ask her all the questions I have, and to just watch her play and love on our kids like I know she would. I hate knowing they will never know her on this side of heaven (accept through me of course).
July 30, 2007 at 9:09 pm
My mom wasn’t perfect, either, but I can only remember the kind, wonderful person she was. She went to be with the Savior she loved and served for 94 years not long ago. I do pray that God will make my children’s memories of me as sweet as I remember my mom. I pray His spirit will live through me, every moment of every day. Kristin, do you remember that tune, “Only to be what He wants me to be, every moment of every day…….”?
I still remember the many minutes we sat next to each other on the piano bench, crossing our feet exactly the same way (your mom used to chuckle!)and playing our hearts out. I love you!!
July 30, 2007 at 10:17 pm
My mom is still here with us but she moved to North Carolina 3 years ago and I miss her. I used to stop at her house everytime I went into Rochester. (which was a few times a week.) I only get to see her a couple times a year now. Thank you for this note because I can call more often and tell her I love her and miss her a lot. She is only a call away and we do have Verizon so it is free!!!! Thank you so much!!
July 31, 2007 at 4:04 am
A mom is someone all of us have had – some longer than others. I miss my mom often and I have alot of the same wishes you mention above. I’m glad we’ll be together with Jesus one day so I don’t have to dwell on the “if only’s”
July 31, 2007 at 4:35 am
She wasn’t perfect, but she was (is) great!
Your Mom was a major influence on me, I always saw her as my spiritual mother…I’m very grateful for her, I miss her too.
July 31, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Hey Kristin! Just found out about your blog yesterday and I’m so psyched about it. My mom is the best – and I’m so blessed to have her living only 20 min. away! She is such a role model to me as far as being humble, gentle, and always willing to serve her children. Without complaint, she’d do anything for us. I struggle with these qualities in my own parenting and am asking God to help me, of course. On the subject of missing someone, of course it’s my Dad… occasionally I’ll see or hear something that reminds me of him and I can’t help but smile. I’ll tell you what, I’m looking forward to the reunion in heaven!!!
July 31, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Kristin, my mom died on August 5th, three years ago. My dad died two Augusts later. This post really grabbed my heartstrings. Those words are so true. Even good relationships aren’t perfect, and it would be wonderful to roll back the pages of time and pull a chair up close…spend more time…say the things we only think of later.
Thanks for a sweet, heartfelt post.
July 31, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I’m glad my mom is still alive and living close by!! It took me growing up and having kids of my own to realize the special person she is.
My mom and I never got along when I was younger. We fought all the time and I did everything I could to make her life miserable (and at the time, that’s what I thought she was doing for me)! You know those things your mom does or says that you swear you’ll never do or say when you get older, well guess what, you always do them or say them!!
I heard myself telling one of my kids the other day, “you’ll understand when you get older” (which really used to drive me crazy when my mom said that to me!), and I just couldn’t help but laugh. Oh well, I guess my mom was right about some things!!
I don’t know what life would be like without my mom or my dad around, and I certainly don’t want to find out anytime in the near future!! They are my best friends now and I’m sooooo glad they have a wonderful relationship with my kids. I’m truly blessed to have them, especially since they chose me so long ago (I’m adopted)!!
August 1, 2007 at 3:54 am
My mom has always been my best friend. She is my heart and yet as I read these I realize that I don’t tell her enough or do enough for her. She is struggling through one of life’s most cruel things right now~ my dad has alzheimers and she is losing him every day. It is hard to watch, so I know that I have pulled back, just when she needs me more. She has always been there for me. It is my turn to step up and be there for her more. She is one of the most loving giving self sacrificing women and I need to be with her more, so that I can be more like her!
August 2, 2007 at 8:38 pm
My relationship with my mom is getting better after years of being strained. When my parents divorced in 1990, I became very bitter. It took about 10 years to finally come to terms with being bitter and asking God to forgive me for it. Fortunately, there were wonderful friends at college and church who got me through those difficult times. Now our relationship is getting better day by day.
August 26, 2007 at 1:01 am
My mom and I live together – successfully – and as I share that piece of info with others it appears that we are pretty unique. We are two adult women who have raised families, but still I sometimes slip back into “teenage thinking” and feel as if mom is “mothering” me too much! I even feel a bit “rebellious”. It is so funny how some things never change, and “once a mother, always a mother”! However,I am blessed to have a mom such as her. I’m also learning new things everyday about vulnerabilities that our parents experience as their lives change. I want to be more sensitive and caring; I don’t want to have regrets about carelessness on my part. Thanks for sharing as you did.