One of the things that has hit me the most since moving back to the States is the seemingly endless pressure on women to “look great”:
- wear the right clothes (which means buying a whole new wardrobe every season of every year since women’s clothes immediately go out of style once the season-at-hand is over)
- make sure you have an ample supply of every different piece of clothing – teeshirts, dress shirts, sweaters, turtlenecks, jeans, sweat outfits, dress pants, skirts, formal dresses, high heels, flats, sneakers, slippers
- have all the matching accessories for every outfit (purse, shoes, jewelry, coat, etc.)
- be the perfect size
- use the appropriate makeup to match the time of day and/or outing
- have the perfect hairstyle, color, and length
I have to admit, I have been tempted more than a few times in the last couple of months to fall into Satan’s trap of telling me that I “need” more – one more dress shirt, one more pair of shoes, one more purse to match, one more set of earrings.
Thankfully, God showed me the verses I need to memorize this month – I Peter 3:3-5a:
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful…
I have been able to think about these verses in those moments when I sense that my mind is wandering into the “need to have it” mode. I begin to say them to myself: “[Kristin], your beauty should not come from outward adornment… it should be that of your inner self.”
Ladies, I don’t know how God does it, but when we are close to Him – when we abide in Him – somehow, He mysteriously shines a beauty through us that we could never produce ourselves.
A beauty that is not of this earth.
A beauty that this hurting and dying world needs to see.
Let’s believe in that together; let’s trust that He will give us that beauty as we walk with Him each day.
Your turn to share: What thoughts came to mind as you were reading this entry?
May 7, 2008 at 2:23 pm
We have lived several different places and I felt that pressure when we moved back into the area. As a mother and a wife I feel pressure to dress myself and my family well, but what does that mean? I often remind myself of Paul’s comment, “I have learned to be content..” I am learning to be content shopping second hand, Goodwill, thrift stores,. We have so much more then so many, and God daily provides for my NEEDS!
Kristin, you are right, when your focus is on Him, and living a life yielded to Him, you feel beautiful being his child! It’s a daily struggle for me.
May 7, 2008 at 5:03 pm
How appropriate your comments are to a conversation Larry and I had recently. We were discussing how “out of step” we are with all of our friends and church family. Our wardrobes are at least 4 or so years out of date – my favorite dress is 13 years old. There is something about living in a different culture that changes perspectives and we really don’t fit in with U S society – but our focus is on God and in that realm we are very comfortable and content which makes us able to withstand the pressures around us.
May 7, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I struggle with this as well. When I am in a store for certain things, I may see something I think I need. I put it in my hands and instantly I am questioning myself on whether I really NEED it or not. Usually by the end of my shopping trip, I have put back the “thing” I had. I feel better about not spending the money that I did not need to and if I really look at what I have, what God has provided, I see my true needs and fulfillments. Thanks for reminding me of those—
May 7, 2008 at 11:31 pm
What came to mind for me is this….since I have started a second job God is showing me a lot of things! As a waitress we are all dressed the SAME and the only way to be set apart is by showing what we are on the inside. God has shown me that my coworkers have noticed that I live differently, they ask questions. I pray that His light shows through each time that I am with them, and that what is on the inside is making an impact on them, even if it is slow, but sure! Please pray that He uses me to make a difference here and that I am obedient to His leading!
May 8, 2008 at 4:21 am
Kristin, you write such timely, engaging topics. So, our question to each other should be, “Are your eyes glistening?” We can see a lot of each other’s heart in eyes can’t we?! They speak of His joy and countless resources to us.
There’s a bit of fun in beating the system too. David is my new precision hair stylist! His price is just right.
May 8, 2008 at 7:42 am
Kristin,
Again, the verse that came to mind when reading your post was Matthew 6:33 (the same one I said when you asked what your readers thought about simplicity!). We are told by Jesus not to worry about what we eat or what we wear – that we are to focus on God’s kingdom and His righteousness. I find when I focus on Him, I can ignore our society’s pressure to “look outwardly perfect” in every situation. Hmmm… reminds me of another verse, Romans 12:2 “don’t live any longer the way the world lives…”
Good stuff, Kristin! Thanks for making me think today! And by the way, I have always felt that you are such a great example to me of a woman allowing God’s beauty to shine through you! =) Have a great day!
May 8, 2008 at 9:22 am
Thank you for the way you are so thoughtful with your words. I appreciate reading the reminder you gave from 1 Peter!
I’m finding that this is also a lesson I am trying to instill in my daughter, who is only 6! I’m shocked at how girls already check out what each other is wearing at this age. We take the time to talk about beauty coming from within your heart. I look forward to memorizing this scripture with her..it will be a helpful reminder to keep close to our hearts!
May 8, 2008 at 9:20 pm
I have never been one to wear the latest fashions. Now that I have been working at the bean plant I wear jeans and a tee shirt or sweatshirt to work every day. I love it!! My favorite places to shop are consignment, thrift and rummage sales. I got an Old Navy pull over for $.50!!! last week. My most recent ‘new’ purchase was a new pair of walking sneakers. I got an Avia brand at JC Penney for less than $30.00 on early bird special instead of the NIKE brand I tried on that were over $50.00. The Avia’s a very comfortable.
Thank you for the reminder to look at our inner beauty as God does. Your posts always come at the right time.
May 9, 2008 at 10:54 am
AS always, your questions and comments are so thought provoking and I need time to internalize before answering. The whole issue of clothes and style has pricked my conscience more than once. While raising my family, my kids had the nice things and I put myself on the back burner, as most moms do. Then, in more recent years, as I’ve been more independent and worked with women who love to shop, I’ve really gotten sucked in to the whole clothes shopping pit. I love shoes, and I can tell that when my mom looks at my shoeboxes, she already thinks I have way too many! And as I look at my closet, I see too many things in different sizes that I hang onto, “just in case”. It really is necessary to stay grounded on scripture to keep me on track, so thanks for the verses. Since going on the mission trip, I’ve really wanted to become a better steward of my money so that I can spend it on ways that are “life giving” , not “life serving”. I sure need to keep that matter in the forefront of prayer. I want eys that “glisten” – and not from make-up.
May 10, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Shoot…I guess I don’t “look great” then…there’s different make up for different outings?? I can barely handle what I know as it is.
I read an article about a woman who gave up her clothes for Lent (yep!) But no, she didn’t go around nakey, she just found a dress, simple, dressy enough for church or any event she anticipated, but casual and comfortable enough to work in and wear every day. She ordered 7 of them. And 2 different sweaters in case it got cold. And that’s all she wore during Lent.
I’ve been curious to find out whether or not I could do that (I think I’d just get bored…I’m not really a fashionista, and need my mom or sister’s help when I actually do go shopping, but I do have a short attention span and like variety)…or if I could get rid of wearing makeup during Lent…or any period of time, for the purpose of living simply (so others might simply live). Haven’t tried it yet, but your blog reminded me once again of this story that intrigued my life…
May 14, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” It’s sad, but true, people will come to conclusions based on how you look or where you live or what you drive. At a glance, you can be qualified or disqualified. This is why we try to make ourselves presentable. So while it is important not to be sloppy, it is just as necessary not to be obsessed. It steals time and resources from maintaining your inner character. I enjoy fashion just as much as the next person, but I’m getting better at keeping these priorities straight. Salvation Army has 50% off on Wednesdays!
May 16, 2008 at 9:22 am
Thank you for the convicting reminders about appropriate dress at church, the priority of planning, and the importance of inner beauty rather than outward styles. Oh, how I have failed God so many times by emphasizing the outside rather than the inside.
I love how your book gives clear examples of your home life and how you worked out different scenarios. We, as pastor’s wives, need that! We need concrete examples of how to make it, and the encouragement that we can make it!!!
I look forward to reading more of your book!
May 19, 2008 at 10:49 am
Ahhh…this is one of my favorite topics. One stumbling block is our own sense of what we find beautiful and attractive. When you look at other women and admire them for their clothes, accessories, hair, make-up, and slimness, that is what becomes important to you. My transformation has been slow, but now when I meet women or hang with women I already know, I observe their laugh and their caring attitudes, their heart for others, their grace, their genuineness, etc. and that is what I have come to value in myself as well. Value those things in others, and then you will find those things valuable in yourself.
XOXO
Joce