During the last few weeks, I had one of those periods in my life – the kind that you can sense that something is just not quite right, you are not fully engaged in the here and now, you sense an unexplainable heaviness, you can’t put your finger on it, etc. During those days, I asked the Holy Spirit to pray for me. I did not even have the words to explain my feelings to Him, to myself, or to anyone else. I knew that with all the transitions and changes that I (we, as a family) were experiencing, there would be these times of confusion and lack of understanding, even a continuing wave of reverse culture shock: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? Who am I? What do you want me to be doing, Lord? How and when do I start afresh?
The Lord was so good to me last week. He allowed me to feel a sense of freedom from the burden of heaviness that I had been sensing. Things no longer felt overwhelming. Of course, I still have many of those same questions floating around in my mind, yet the questions no longer seem to need immediate, life-changing answers.
You know what God used to help me sense that freedom? A good friend and a good cry. The Lord allowed me to be with a dear friend that I knew would know exactly what I was feeling and thinking. I did not have to explain my tears or even wonder if she thought I was going crazy; in fact, she assured me that I wasn’t. The floodgates opened up and I just sobbed. I didn’t try to stop myself – it just kept flowing out. Oh, it felt so good to just let go of all the festered feelings and unanswered questions.
Thank you, Lord, for good friends… and a good cry once in awhile!
2 Corinthians 1:3,4 (NIV) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
Your turn to share: In what way has God used one of your past experiences to help comfort someone going through that same type of experience?
Sincerely, Kristin 
April 22, 2008 at 10:50 am
Kristin,
It was so refreshing to read this post from you…it came at a perfect time! I too have just come through a bout as the one you speak of. However mine was due to coming off of medication. There were a few days where the dark cloud just lingered over me and all I wanted to do was cry…and I did. By the grace of God (like you), I have friends and a husband who could understand my seemingly reasonlessness (is that a word?) need to let it out. In those times, I called on this verse to see me through…
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
April 22, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Crying? Did someone mention crying? I am certain that my watering system has gone awry because my eyes are always springing new leakages!! Thank God for waterproof mascara. = )
I must remind myself that God’s timing and plans are not necessarily the same as mine and I must be patient. So I continue to be on my knees, continue to cry out, and continue to be thankful for the waterproof shoulders of dear friends.
However, these times also serve to remind me to be available and aware when others may need a shoulder and a listening ear. It is funny how our personal experiences truly do serve to increase our heart capacity for understanding and listening. We are to be God’s arms and ears and to serve others.
Perhaps instead of wondering what He has planned for me I should be busy being His hands and feet and serving others. What a concept. It is good to remember that it is easier to steer a boat that is at least moving than one that is dead stopped. So I just talked myself into moving and doing and being so that God can steer me in the direction and plan that he has for me.
Thanks for listening!! God bless.
April 22, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I lost my father very unexpectedly 4 years ago. It was the worst experience of my life! This past fall a friend of mine lost her father unexpectedly. Although this girl and I are not best of friends, I knew EXACTLY what she was feeling and knew that this was my opportunity to show her the love of Christ. (The circumstances behind our fathers death were extremely similar.) We cried together and I just listened as she poured out her heart. I knew from my own experience that that was more helpful to her than trying to say anything to make her “feel better”.
April 23, 2008 at 7:24 pm
I’m so glad God provided that friend to share with you when you needed it. I was about brought to tears reading this as the friend who I shared many things with and who was my “shoulder to cry on” is now with the Lord. I miss her sooo very much but try to remember what a beautiful spirit she had and how she helped me so many times to sort things out. She was a true servant of Christ. A real encouragement to do the same for others!
April 23, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Dear Kristin,
I just want to hug you. Thank you for being so transparent with us. With all the changes in your life (not just this year, but in the past three) and with four children to nurture in the process, how could you NOT feel overwhelmed at times? I thank God with you for the lifting of the heaviness. And I also thank Him for giving you emotional relief BEFORE any of your questions were resolved. Because now you can be sure it is a “heart thing”, not dependent on externals. These questions will be answered when they need to be. But then there will be others. And some may never be answered. But God is able to give us inner peace no matter how confused, uncertain or tumultuous our external world becomes. And in my experience he does it most often by using a friend. And yes, tears. So next time you need a good cry, if your friend isn’t around, my shoulder is always available!
April 24, 2008 at 10:33 am
It’s coincidental that you blogged about crying this week, I did too! I wrote about how a good cry is good for my back- it releases the tension through my eyes instead of through a knot in my shoulder. It’s gotta go somewhere! I think it’s great you have a friend to cry with without worrying about how you look or if she thinks you’re crazy.
My theory is this- crying lets the doubt out and makes room for God’s peace.
Hope to see you around sometime!
XOXOX
Joce
April 26, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Kristin, You’ve been in my thoughts since I read your latest post. With all of your adjustments, not to mention that you’re no longer home-schooling after so many years, no wonder you’re feeling a little lost. I’ll be praying that God leads you to the answers to your questions and the perfect places to minister, and that you’ll have the peace to give yourself some time and space until then.
Love,
Becky
April 29, 2008 at 10:40 am
A divine release is like none other. We can’t even will it back–it’s just gone, thank the Lord, through His sweet invention–Community–a purpose the Divine One uses. Does anyone feel perfectly adequate to function as a priest in the priesthood of believers? No. Your entry reminded us that words weren’t even needed. Simply believing and participating, He seems to delight in doing the Lion Share of ministry. It’s a mystery what happens but we know it to be true. Stronger than Niagra Falls He rushes in and takes the load and leaves us with a sense of the Almighty’s care in it’s place. And somehow both friends are graced and bonded. Neither would have missed the opportunity to look into His eyes as He was close for anything.