From the time our children are born, the process of “letting go” begins. That process includes letting them cry it out, tumble before walking, work through the pains of playground teasing, fail a test for lack of studying, reap the consequences of being late for practice, or make tough decisions by themselves.
Angela (my sister-in-law) and I are, in different ways, taking another step in that process with our first-born boys, Michael and Addison.
Michael, our oldest nephew, is headed off to college as a freshman today. Addison, our oldest, has been taking entrance exams for a Chilean school that he may attend next year. (That’s kind of tough for this homeschooling mom! I have so enjoyed the individual time with him.)
Wow, how can it be? A mom has such mixed feelings about each step of letting go – feelings of happiness and pride…and, yes, feelings of sadness too.
Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of watching these boys grow in Your likeness. May they continue to grow closer to you every day and mature into godly men. Use them, use all of our children, for Your glory! May they be Your light in this dark world.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
Your turn to share: What step of “letting go” have you had to take recently?
Sincerely, Kristin 
August 6, 2007 at 11:08 am
I’ve read that the most difficult, yet most important decisions a parent has to make is letting go. I believe it! From the minute we let go of our toddler’s hand to sending them off to college or onto their own life, it is a constant struggle of wanting to hold them tight and the need to let them go.
There comes a point where ‘telling our kids’ becomes ‘giving advice and praying’. They make their own decisions…and we have to let them. Yes, two of my guys right now are in transition–Tim on the brink of being an adult and Dan on the brink of being a teenager… with Matt counting the days (months) til he has the driving freedom. And all with me as Mom wanting to hold and protect, but also enjoying their growth and my new found freedom.
Wow–this is what we signed up for when we had kids?! 😉
August 6, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Letting go – that’s a lesson Tom and I spent alot of time learning about this year. Sixth grade seems to have been a big step toward independence in Alex’s life. We have suddenly taken the back seat to her friends – can you imagine that? Setting expectations and boudaries to this independence has involved alot of conversation, prayer and sometimes frustration. With only one, I think this change has been hard on all of us…Tom and I don’t have another child to invest this extra time into and Alex is looking for some room to spread her wings! God has been good to all of us though. He continues to be there each step of the way. I’ve been told by others that have forged this path before me, this is when Tom and I get to re-discover our own interests again. While I look forward to seeing what God has planned, everyone once in a while, I also long for that little kid that used to climb up in my lap and snuggle:)
August 7, 2007 at 12:46 am
Joy is soon to get her drivers licence. I can live with that. It is the fact that in two years I lose her to college. I’m afraid I might be the nutty kind of Mom who packs up and moves closer to her chosen college.
August 7, 2007 at 1:40 am
My “baby” goes to Kindergarten in a few short weeks. We went this morning and did the all important job of letting her choose just the right backpack! It had to be pink and big…like her 8 yr old brothers. She found just the “perfect” one and proudly put it on her back. She wore it up to the cashier’s counter and gave it to the cashier. After paying for it and seeing the cashier go to place it in a bag, she asked if she could wear it out of the store. “Of course” was the reply and she proudly put it on her back and smiled from ear to ear. She now believes she has what she needs to start this new adventure. As we drove home, my kids both reminded me again that this will be the first time in over 8 yrs that I will be home all by myself during the day! She is more than ready to spread her wings and explore this new adventure and I keep smiling through my tears as I let go and trust that God will guide her when I cannot!
August 7, 2007 at 2:40 pm
I will be “LETTING GO” of my son Troy to Pre-K this fall. There are always fears I have such as “Will the kids be mean to him?” He has to wear an eye patch to correct his left eye. I know that kids can be cruel and Troy can be very sensitive at times. He’s so innocent of how people can be.
I know I need to “let go and let God.” It’s not always easy. I’m excited that he will be able to play with other kids though and curious to see the experience he gets out of this.
August 7, 2007 at 2:54 pm
The end of last school year Kenny joined the 5th grade thinkers club which was once a week after school. While signing the permission slip I had to indicate that I would either pick him up or that he would walk. I knew that he needed me to trust him. I chose to let him walk. The first day I had my eye on the clock minute by minute as I knew he was probably leaving about now, he’s probably crossing Oak WITHOUT the crossing guard, “Oh God please protect my son!”, he should be walking in the door now, he’s not walking in the door now, worry, pray, worry, pray, sneak out the front door, run up to the corner, peer over the neighbors hedge, there he is!, DUCK!, RUN back to the house, take a deep breath, and great him as he walks in the door, fighting back the urge to ball my eyes out…. This fall it’s middle school! UGH! I need to count how many streets between here and there I will have to pray him across.
August 9, 2007 at 4:18 am
I’m letting go AGAIN this weekend as my one and only daughter heads back for her Jr year of college (in NC, we live in NY) just when I think that I have it all down God throws in a new curve. She bought her own car this summer that she is driving herself back in! Plus she is taking my “baby” with her (her youngest brother) and he will be flying home by himself! Letting go is one thing, the other is admitting that I am old enough to have kids this independent!
August 9, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Letting go–for me my mom is much better at it than my dad. Actions by both my parents made me decide to leave the nest twelve years ago. I was 30 at the time so definitely old enough to leave. My mom shopped with me, helped me pack and through tears said good-bye. My dad did nothing!! He would not even acknowledge I was leaving. My uncle & aunt were the ones who helped me move into my first apartment in Batavia. As a Christian I was able to forgive him and our relationship is great today. So to all you moms–keep letting go and let God take over. His guardian angels are all around.
August 10, 2007 at 12:38 am
I’ve let go of my twins for the month of August!! Phill’s mom asked me if she could take them for all that time, or at least until they wanted to come home (or she wanted them to come home). I have to say I haven’t really struggled with them being gone, but I do miss them.
Summer is a very hard time for me with all 4 kids being at home. They don’t get along very well and I have to referee all day, so I’m enjoying just having the oldest and youngest. They’re getting to know each other better and developing quite a connection, which is nice to see. It’s been fun spending more time with the two of them too.
Erin and Janae are actually talking about moving in with Mimi and going to the same school as their cousins!! I think they’re liking their vacation too!!
August 12, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Letting go IS one tuff cookie to swallow…even when they go off to college, or leave the house at the night with their friends…..I’m glad I’ve got the Lord to walk and talk me through all this…Peace of mind..God is in Conrol…Thank you Dear Lord for ALWAYS being there for me and my children
August 12, 2007 at 10:32 pm
This last week has been one of the toughest for me, I have a 33 year old daughter that had a lot of really bad things happen in her life and I never realized until this time that I had spent with her how she has manipulated me all these years into believing they were my fault. The Lord showed me before I got there that I would learn a hard lesson and He sure was right! It is not my fault, and we are both wrong for making each other suffer for all these years and as He is in control He will work through her now that I let go and give Him control! Praise God for His infinite wisdom, I learned a long time ago about letting go of my boys, but it just took me longer for the girl. Thank you for letting me share a little of this rocky road that is smoothing out through His divine love. Blessings, Paulette
August 15, 2007 at 4:37 pm
I’ve been learning about letting go for quite some time now, and the learning just continues. First, there was that tearing away that happened when first-born went off to college, and the intensity was 10-fold when he got married and moved 13 hrs. away. I STILL struggle with that—with missing him, with accepting that his wife is now his family and we must sit in the back seat. Within the past year, daughter married—another time of letting go, that was a bit easier because I was more of an “expert” this time, and she is a daughter not a son, and she lives nearby. Our relationship is different, of course, and I’m striving to reshape it as it needs to be. And finally, on Saturday, younger son and his older brother will both head off to college—Ben for the first time. YIKES. Mike and I will return to an empty house for the first time—although it won’t last long because a student at RWC from Trinidad will move into Ben’s room the next day! What will life be like without that full dinner table? Who will need me then? How does one parent long-distance? Will the boys be safe, and successful at college? Yes, giving up control is so hard, and yet I am learning daily that I have never really been in control—it is all an allusion. GOD is in control, and He knows what I need, and what my kids need. Actually, wonder of wonders, they are HIS kids and He loves them more than I do. That’s what keeps me peaceful when I am tempted to give way to sadness and worry. This is just another stage in the life that God has planned for me, and I must live in the moment, not in the past, while I praise him for all that his past, present and future blessings.